I was spanked as a child
THE EFFECT OF LIGHT HAND-SLAPS ON TODDLERS
"A study to determine if hand slaps had any long-term effects, showed that toddlers who were punished with light slaps on the hand when reaching for an object, showed delayed exploratory development seven months later". Dr William Sears, "The Discipline Book".
NEWS AND VIEWS
Spankings do for a child's development what fistfights between spouses do for a marriage.
FROM PAM LEO'S NEW BOOK
When a big kid hits a little kid, we call it bullying.
When an adult hits another adult, we call it assault.
When the adults in a family hit each other we call it battering or domestic violence.
When an adult hits a child we call it discipline.
Parents intend to teach their children to be courteous, respectful, responsible, kind and loving. Children learn from what we model. Hitting is not courteous, respectful, responsible, kind or loving. Hitting is violence. When we model violence, we teach violence. The only lessons hitting can teach children are to hit others, and to fear and distrust those who hit them.
Pam Leo - "Connection Parenting", Wyatt-MacKenzie (2007)
10 REASONS WHY NOT TO USE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
1. Corporal punishment can lead to aggressive behavior. Children who are spanked are more likely to hit and bite other children, become playground bullies, and have violent outbursts as adults.
2. Corporal punishment can lead to rebellion. Children who are spanked are more likely to rebel against their parents and engage in risky behaviors.
3. Corporal punishment can cause children to numb physical sensations. Children who are spanked can become desensitized to their body’s signals of pain, hunger, fullness, fatigue, and drug overdose.
4. Corporal punishment can cause sexual problems. Children who are spanked on the buttocks may suffer later on from sexual dysfunction and sexual perversions.
5. Corporal punishment can lead to later emotional problems. Children who are spanked are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and substance abuse as adults.
6. Corporal punishment fails to teach children useful conflict resolution skills. Children who lack role models for constructive communication are more likely to have difficulty with relationships as adults.
7. Corporal punishment can lead to lying and deception. Children who learn to avoid punishment by lying will be more likely to continue this pattern of behavior as they grow older.
8. Corporal punishment can cause children to fear their parents. Children who do not feel safe at home will be more likely to leave home at an early age and reject their parents’ values.
9. Corporal punishment is emotionally and physically painful. Children who are exposed to frequent painful experiences are more likely to crave pleasurable experiences such as sex and drugs.
10. Corporal punishment doesn’t work. Although it may produce temporary compliance, spanking does NOT help children learn, become cooperative, or develop moral values. It is the least effective method of discipline.
Aletha Solter Ph D
For suggestions of what to do instead of spanking, see Aletha Solter’s list of Twenty Alternatives to Punishment:
http://awareparenting.com
"EVERYTHING I AM TODAY I OWE TO THE FACT I WAS SPANKED AS A CHILD"
Do these words sound familiar?
"Under certain circumstances, children who have been told repeatedly that the humiliations and beatings they have been subjected to are for their own good may end up believing it all their lives. Consequently, they will raise their own children in the same way, laboring under the delusion that they are doing the right thing. But what happens to all the rage, the pain, the anger those children were forced to suppress when they were not only treated cruelly by their own parents but expected to be grateful for it...?"
Read more: http://nospank.net/miller3
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I TURNED OUT OKAY?
"Some people claim that spanking is okay because they were spanked as children and they turned out okay. This is the same faulty reasoning used by those who say it's okay to smoke because not all smokers get lung cancer. The fact is that there is a definite correlation between smoking and lung cancer, just as there is between spanking and a host of later problems. Furthermore, although people who were spanked as children might indeed function well as adults, at least outwardly, they may suffer from depression or violent rages without linking these problems to the early stress of corporal punishment."
Aletha Solter Ph D
http://www.awareparenting.
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